Thursday, April 30, 2009
OK, so I own the original Star Trek boxed DVD set, and I've watched all those original episodes at least 100 times. There's just something about the 'campyness' of that entire series that intrigues me.
A couple of years ago, I was listening to online radio... icebergradio.com to be precise. They had a novelty genre, a.k.a. extremely bad music. I listened to stuff like 'MacArthur Park' and Dolly Parton singing 'Stairway To Heaven', various William Shatner songs and recitations...and Leonard Nimoy singing 'Proud Mary'. It was gawd awful.
It's funny how these random bits pop into your head. Some bitter, bitter dregs of work sparked memories of a Spock ballad which was belted out in an early Star Trek episode (Plato's Stepchildren).
Here are the lyrics for "Maiden Wine"
Take care, young ladies, and value your wine.
Be watchful of young men in their velvet prime.
Deeply they'll swallow from your finest kegs,
Then swiftly be gone, leaving bitter dregs.
Ahh-ah-ah-ah, bitter dregs.
With smiling words and tender touch,
Man offers little and asks for so much.
He loves in the breathless excitement of night,
Then leaves with your treasure in cold morning light.
Ahh-ah-ah-ah, in cold morning light.
While this ditty was playing in my head, I stumbled upon this website:
Yes, the musical touch of Leonard Nimoy. This provided hours of entertainment, especially viewing what must be the world's worst video...the Ballad of Bilbo Baggins. Amazingly awful.
Live long and prosper, Spock...but please forget the music :>)
Friday, April 24, 2009
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have a "S" in it?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Go ahead and submit your favorite old bike! It's easy-schmeezy!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Not that kind! My lovely wife and I enjoy our Sunday morning Spam Lite and egg sandwiches.
It's that damn e-mail spam. I swear, my quarantine box fills up with cheap Rolex watch knock off offers, Buy-A-Diploma, Get-A-Hard-On, please your lover, re:your website, Acai berry weight-loss offer, sexy underwear, make big bucks working from home, Canadian Pharmacy Viagra, Nigerian money laundering schemes, buy foreclosed homes for $1, buy gold jewelry cheap, sell Grandma's gold jewelry for extra $, female companionship, male companionship, naked supermodel videos, fully dressed supermodel videos, credit card offers, part time jobs for $, full time jobs for $, sell your organs for extra $, yada, yada, yada, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaada....
Note to e-mail spammers. Screw you. I will not read, open, peruse, scan, look at, eyeball, focus on, pay attention to, study, glance at, ogle, watch, record, view, investigate, stare at, click on, select, care or give a crap about the junk that shows up in my quarantine box.
I will delete, purge, wipe out, erase, waste, throw away, toss, chuck, heave, trash, boot, rub out, terminate with extreme prejudice, and hurl into the great dark void of nothingness your vile, irritating, space-robbing garbage.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
For those of you who don't know, the late great Sheldon Brown was an expert on everything bicycle. He was quite active on the Harris Cyclery website and published tons of useful and helpful information. I built my first set of wheels using that website information. I never knew Sheldon personally, but he gave me some very good advice via a mailing list. I had just purchased my Quickbeam and was riding fixed gear for the very first time. It was great, except I had some issues keeping my feet on the pedals. Sheldon 'SPD' Brown suggested clipping in, and it was exactly the right thing to do.
If you notice, I have Sheldon's website bookmarked on this blog and I continue to utilize it regularly. His teachings, and his legacy, live on.
Thanks Sheldon! :>)
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Of course I was looking at bikes and/or bike parts, and happened upon the Epicurian Cyclist Blog, where I happened upon some interesting bike accesorization.
Do this instead:
Since I now had a 'spare' piece of hide to practice on, I found that cutting a vertical slit directly and CAREFULLY down the center lengthwise, and stretching to fit worked much better than attempting to cut a hole. So, I got to start all over again with the remaining piece of hide.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Whilst I was happily riding my Ramby, a super-fast roadie type on a super-lite tri-atheleete carbon rig stopped to admire my bike. "Man, that's a classic", he leered with a superior sneer on his face. Then he plunged in the knife. "That's a nice ride...if you like trucks." Then like a ghostly spectre, he rapidly faded off into the mist.
Not to be intimidated, I've decided to put the Ramby on a diet. Fat pig, you say? By integrating the latest technology into the tried and true Rivendell design, my newly trim Ramby will be laterally stiff, yet vertically compliant...able to challenge all carbon comers.
Lets start here:
Yes, it's the 19 gram Speedplay carbon fiber water bottle cage. From the website: They call it the Nanogram Ultra Light cage, and it only weighs in at 19 grams. Even with its light weight, it’s very strong because of its unique design. It’s made from unidirectional carbon fiber, and positions the water bottle stop at the top of the case rather than near the mount where it’s most vulnerable. It’s designed specifically for a road bike, and can absorb the repetitive impacts of rough roads with ease. Hell yeah, gotta have that! Only $65 each!
Next, some Driven Meteor Carbon Fiber Handlebars, including cranial crash pad. These will significantly reduce weight, improve high-impact strength and promote safe riding, whilst retaining the standard Rivendell upright riding posture.
Of course, toss that nasty Nitto seat post and replace with a $250 Deda Elementi Superzero Crabon (sp) Fiber Seatpost. Just because I dig the Italian sounding name, meaning it must be extra-super tissue-paper butterfly wing light.
Ohhhh yeah. Wheels are incredibly important in the quest for ultra-liteness. Propulsion IS possible with Sub9 tubular disc wheels from Zipp Speed Weaponry. The patented toroidal ring profile controlling airflow at the leading and trailing edges will trounce the competition! Who cares if I don't know how to mount a tubular tire? If I flat, I'll just have my LBS on cell phone speed dial.
I figure with all these improvements, I should be able to reduce unsprung weight by at least 15 lbs, cost be damned. I should also be able to improve thrust by at least 87.4% because of the extra aerodynamic 'push' the disc wheels will provide. My ride will also be laterally compliant, yet vertically stiff.