Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Spam Slam

I don't like spam!


Not that kind! My lovely wife and I enjoy our Sunday morning Spam Lite and egg sandwiches.

It's that damn e-mail spam. I swear, my quarantine box fills up with cheap Rolex watch knock off offers, Buy-A-Diploma, Get-A-Hard-On, please your lover, re:your website, Acai berry weight-loss offer, sexy underwear, make big bucks working from home, Canadian Pharmacy Viagra, Nigerian money laundering schemes, buy foreclosed homes for $1, buy gold jewelry cheap, sell Grandma's gold jewelry for extra $, female companionship, male companionship, naked supermodel videos, fully dressed supermodel videos, credit card offers, part time jobs for $, full time jobs for $, sell your organs for extra $, yada, yada, yada, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaada....

Note to e-mail spammers. Screw you. I will not read, open, peruse, scan, look at, eyeball, focus on, pay attention to, study, glance at, ogle, watch, record, view, investigate, stare at, click on, select, care or give a crap about the junk that shows up in my quarantine box.

I will delete, purge, wipe out, erase, waste, throw away, toss, chuck, heave, trash, boot, rub out, terminate with extreme prejudice, and hurl into the great dark void of nothingness your vile, irritating, space-robbing garbage.


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